Saturday, March 25, 2006

Ever have one of those days?

You know how it is. You’re doing that usual Saturday morning lazing around the house stuff, and by the end of the day you’ve half the local police force in your driveway.

What? You mean you’ve never had a day like that? Well have I got a tale for you.

We were sitting in the living room this morning, just kicking back, and all of a sudden there was a loud noise outside. Knowing how the UPS man tends to throw boxes at the screen door, rather than walk up the steps and place them there, I figured more review materials had arrived. The dogs were barking like crazy, but well…it was pretty loud. Xander went to check the door, but there was nobody there, and curiously, not even a package on the porch. We just figured one of the dogs knocked something over and thought no more about it.

Until an hour or so later when Ailema went to let one of our many cats out of the front window, and discovered two holes, presumably BB gun pellet holes. When Xander went outside to check, he noticed that there was a third one in the kitchen window. So someone decided to take it into their heads to strafe the crazy goth house. Brilliant.

So I called the insurance company, and the guy took the details and told us he’d be sending out an adjustor on Monday, and oh, by the way, did we call the police? I told him that I didn’t see much point as there wasn’t much the cops could do about it now. But little insurance claims guy said we should always call the police and have it noted by them in case they should catch the guys or something. Oh, and could we call glass places and get some estimates? Oh, and we have a $250 deductible but they’ll be happy to pay anything it costs to replace them over and above that $250.

Nice. Thanks a lot, you little BB-toting shit, whoever you are. I had PLANS for that $250.

So we called our local sheriff’s office who told us they’d send out a deputy at some point, since it obviously wasn’t a big emergency or anything. Fine. Half an hour later, the deputy arrived, and took a look at the windows. Then he went to the back of his big Suburban to retrieve something he needed.

Now the people across the street have two dogs. Pitbulls. Dogs they don’t see any reason to keep fenced in or coralled in any fashion. Dogs which may not have mauled or killed anyone yet - in fact they’ve been fairly friendly up to this point - but who are still an annoyance whenever anyone goes to the mailbox or tries to walk up and down the driveway, as they barrel over and try to jump up.

Well the deputy opened up the back of his truck just as these two dogs - who had been chained TOGETHER for some bizarre reason known only to their owners - decided to show up and investigate the deputy. The cop, who has no idea who these dogs are, or where they’re from, or what their temperaments are, merely sees two pitbulls who are chained together and approaching him. They start circling him, and he yells at them to get away. One of the owners decides to come out of the house and start yelling at the dogs (who never listen at the best of times, so god knows why he thought they’d start now.) The deputy drew his gun and pointed it at one of the dogs. They carried on circling around him and trying to get at him, so he shot the older one in the neck.

Now the owners finally decide that maybe they should come and rescue their dogs, one now mortally wounded and bleeding profusely, and the other one trying to escape by dragging the dying dog along on the chain.

And that’s when things started to get ugly.

Everyone piled out of the house across the street - there were about ten people there. Our neighbors on the left side ran across the street because they sensed a fight was in the offing and they wanted to be part of the excitement. Now the husband of this couple already knew about the problem we had with the windows since he’d been talking about it with Xander earlier in the day. His wife, however, howls from across the street to Azrael, “Why did you call the cops over and have them shoot the dog? YOU'RE the freaks!”

Azrael, who actually had much finer feelings for the dead dog than I personally ever did was as shocked as anyone at the speed with which everything had happened, protested that we only called the cop to report the windows.

The deputy was on the radio the minute he’d shot the dog, and pretty soon, other police started showing up on the scene. The people across the street were yelling at the cops. Our shit-stirring neighbor was still pointing fingers at us, as though we’d called out the cop deliberately to shoot this dog we knew would be out roaming in our front yard when he showed up. It took six patrol cars and one fire truck showing up before people finally dispersed.

Azrael went over across the street at one point to apologize to the owner of the dog for his dog getting shot, because that was obviously never our intention. It’s not like we IMAGINED the damn holes in the windows. The young guy who owned the dog was quite okay about it and said he knew that we didn’t do anything to cause it. The guy’s father, however, ordered Azrael out of his yard, with the admonition that he was going to beat the crap out of him, and he was going to kill him.

Terrific. We started the day with our windows intact and wound up with three pellet holes, a dead dog and a death threat. It’s a funny old life.

I guess, like Xander says…when someone breaks a window, God kills a puppy.


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