Sunday, July 24, 2005

Once in a Lifetime....

The Lifetime Movie Network is the work of the devil.

I say this after spending most of the day yesterday vegged out in front of the TV unable to pull myself away from its evil clutches. I felt like Al Pacino - "Just when I think I'm out, they PULL ME BACK IN!!!"

Then I felt guilty and made potato salad and fried chicken, so all was not lost. This isn't something I do very often, because the Teen Peeps love it, and CRAVE it, and I enjoy basking in their adulation. I do it rarely enough that it never becomes a mundane kind of food.

Having purchased the new shiny pool this week - which I forgot to mention in my previous postings - we're kind of financially strapped until the next paycheck rolls in from the Big Office in New York, so I'm bending further and further over to reach the deepest depths of the chest freezer. Aptly named, I might add, particularly when your bra size is a DDD and you're pressed against the walls of the thing trying to figure out if there are any more bags of chicken underneath all those half-used bags of vegetables.

The pool is indeed NEW and SHINY and very, very freaking COLD. This is mostly my fault, as I had the earth shatteringly BRILLIANT idea that the Teen Peeps might CATCH FIRE FROM THE SUN or some such thing while they were out in it, so decided to purchase one of those canopy things that protects you from the sun while you're having a picnic or whatever. Put it over the top of the HORRENDOUSLY DISFIGURED TEEN PEEPS WITH SKIN CANCER!!

Of course, I wasn't following this thought through to its logical conclusion. Which is, we live in Washington State. Not Arizona or Southern California. We've got sun for two months out of the year - tops. And it never reaches 100 degrees aside from when Andy Wappler (Kiro TV weatherman) says something along the lines of "Expect a heavy breeze", and mushmouths it into being: "Expect 100 degrees".

I also was completely forgetting that a pool full of icy cold water from the garden hose is likely to FOREVER REMAIN icy cold water when the sun's rays are blocked from its surface by the addition of the spiffy new canopy! It's a sad thing when you're happy that your legs have gone numb because at least you no longer feel the BITING COLD of the ICE WATER in the pool!

Great thinking Rachie. No Teen Peep inferno out in the back yard. Instead they're all walking around the house in twenty layers of clothing in the middle of summer because they can't stop shivering after being in the POOL OF DEATH for ten minutes. Um...can anybody spell PNEUMONIA??!!

We removed the canopy yesterday. And hopefully the water warms up to just plain COLD before summer ends.

Mea culpa. Mea culpa.


Blogger Azrael said...

yes..the pool of death is very much better..than b it is just the pool of frigid balllessness...cold as hell, not even numb-making(which was its own way)...

7:01 PM  

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